The problem with having a blog that I don’t update regularly is that, now that I have a few minutes to write something that anyone else would actually want to read, it’s a daunting task to pick out which anecdotes most warrant sharing. In the interest of maximum entertainment value, I choose to tackle my plights topically, episodically, and allegorically. The following, therefore, have been adapted to include the characters of Star Wars.
It so happens that we are involved in a project to revitalize the Gwarp Nebula. Fortunately for us, several other nebulae within a reasonable distance for light speed travel have recently undergone similar projects. Darth Sith, the two other interns, and I therefore packed up the soccer-mommiest space vessel in the quadrant and traipsed across the stars to find these gems. They included the typical things that a hard-working and well-off business darth wants in a tourist destination: bike lanes, park benches, façade treatments, and such, but we wanted to dig deeper, see how the narrower streets with low speed limits for hovercraft promoted business, get a taste for the demographics, and consider life in these oases of peace and harmony.
Cut to ten minutes later. The peace and harmony of our one-way street is somewhat lessened by our presence. Darth Sith curses the sun and stars and swears on the ash of his forebears that no sign told of this ancient foe.
The next day, as loyal drones do, we went back to take photos, and we found this:
Clearly, Yoda is up to his old tricks.
A Phantom Menace: Bad Veg
With a practically unlimited budget for groceries, us drones consider carefully what delectable goodies we choose to put into our weak little solar-powered bodies. One night, only Earth vegetables chosen from the finest chain store would do. We chopped our little automated hearts out, marinated our veg. in oil and coolant, and grilled them on top of the port engines. We had high hopes, and were certain that we would not be disappointed with this meal.
Twenty minutes later we were horribly disappointed with that meal. Something had gone wrong. Strangely, though, we were all bugged with a polite virus that night. With each of us thinking that the other two had loved those horrid rancid vegetables, we began to dish out the leftovers the next night.
Who wants eggplant? Who does indeed. We realized our systems error and quickly updated our databases to include more honesty, less courtesy. Of course, horrible brawling broke out the next night, but I’m pretty sure that was unrelated.